FPL Gameweek 3 Captaincy: Who To Captain

The shortlist this week: Haaland at home to Coventry, Bruno Fernandes and Mbeumo away at Everton, and Cole Palmer facing a trip to the Emirates. Four candidates walked in — and for once, our two analysts walked out agreeing.

Haulage King says:

Give me Haaland. Every time. COV (H) is the fixture you dream about when you're chasing a green arrow, and nobody on this shortlist can go bigger. On his best days he's good for 14 points, and our model makes him roughly a one-in-three shot to properly haul this week — the best odds on the board by a distance. Compare that to Bruno at one-in-four, Mbeumo at one-in-seven, and poor Palmer at one-in-nine away to Arsenal. If you're captaining Palmer this week you're not brave, you're bored. Yes, Haaland costs £15.5m and about 7 in 10 managers own him, so he's no differential — but the armband isn't where you get clever. It's where you get points. Home game, biggest ceiling, best haul odds. Haaland. Slap the band on and enjoy your Saturday.

Cheapy says:

Normally this is where I tell the King to calm down and point at the boring option. This week the boring option IS his option. Haaland is the safest pick on the shortlist too: nailed minutes, no rotation sweat, and the sturdiest week when things don't click — a typical week still brings 6 points, the best of anyone here. Bruno's a solid shout at 7.4 projected points and only about 5 in 10 own him, but Everton away is a scrappier afternoon than Coventry at home, and his quiet weeks are just as quiet. Mbeumo and Palmer? Fine transfers, terrible captains — a typical week of 3 and 2 points respectively is not what you hand the armband. When the highest floor and the highest ceiling live in the same player, the debate is over. Haaland, doubled.

The verdict:

When the haul-chaser and the floor merchant land on the same name, listen. The only reason to look elsewhere is if you don't own Haaland and refuse to buy him — in which case Bruno at EVE (A) is the honest second. For everyone else: captain Haaland, and don't overthink it.